Goodness Gracious!

#57: Gucci Gilmore

I love Grace Adler. And the thing about her that I love is the thing that’s driving me nuts now. She is a beautiful woman with huge doses of “kook." She is extremely funny and there’s an irreverence about her over life in general that lands her in hilarious and oft times embarrassing situations. Why, Grace? Why do you do this to yourself?

Same question I’m asking myself right now. Why, Gucci? Why do you do this to yourself?

I introduced myself yesterday before the whole company and ended up showing this side of me that may not have been that acceptable to the company’s general make-up. It was my first time to show my face to the whole world. And I chose to show a face that was “silly in a sitcom kind of way.” I was Grace Adler in the flesh, making a fool of herself. I was Lorelai Gilmore stumbling over simple things that you know she can very well pull off if she just would stop being that much of a nut for one minute.

And so there I was. I could’ve been Nelle Porter. A friend of mine once said that I was very sub-zero Nelle when it came to work. More than 5 years ago, when I was still a fan of the series Ally McBeal, she was actually the character I could relate to. Maybe that was before. And maybe I’ve lost it – the poise and demeanor of a professional. I am now a professional comedy act.

I was watching Gilmore Girls earlier (love that show!) and there was Lorelai being Lorelai again. She can’t help it. She’d be boring if she stopped being her silly self. Same thing with Grace. Thing is, even with such lack of refinement, no one can deny that these are intelligent and uniquely beautiful women. They just happen to be quirkier than your normal human being.

And I guess that’s what happened yesterday. I couldn’t help myself. I just couldn’t help being myself. The more I try to think about the proper way to project myself to fit into a more serious culture, the more I stumble. And so I look to these characters I am able to identify with to gain acceptance for myself. I am not your average girl. And I am loonier than your usual loon. But I am hoping that like Grace Adler and Lorelai Gilmore, this side of me will not obscure the fact that I have my own brand of intelligence and that I am beautiful in my own (albeit weird) way.

P.S.
I read somewhere that to know the Gilmore Girls is to love them.
My new company must really love me now. REALLY.

Weak End

#56: Weak at the end of the Week

Today is better.

I survived my first week in Coke. Such a wide range of emotions. I didn't know all those feelings can be jammed into such a short time frame. Or inside what I thought was such a tough heart.

I am realizing just now how important warm relationships with officemates are to one's wellbeing. I'm also being very repentant about taking "Lunch Outs" for granted in the past. Apparently, they're essential to one's sanity. Fridays should always be Happy Lunch days. Always. I guess, you really don't know the value of one thing until it's totally gone.

I've also started sleeping with the lights off. I read something the week before about how sleeping with the lights on can hasten the deterioration of your eyes and rob you of the optimum amount of rest you can get. I still need my eyes to go through hundreds and hundreds of pages of info packs. And I will definitely need rest. They say there won't be a lot of that in the days to come. I better stock up.

Poppy New Year!!!

#55: Like Microwave Popcorn for Wishes

New Year went by without much fanfare this time. My brother wasn't home so there's one less person to celebrate the holiday with. It seems like our family gets smaller and smaller each year.

I remember the time New Year's Eve meant lots of firecrackers and lots of fire-cracker-throwing with cousins and neighbors. Who cares if Watusis were dangerous? They danced and they flew so you could very well throw one at the person nearest you. Of course there were also times before when, with our uncle or one of our neighbor's uncles or drivers, we'd concoct our own homemade explosives. That silvery powder was pretty fun to play around with. That is, until my brother burned his eyelashes and eyebrows out and almost ended up blind. For more than a month, he looked like a worm. (Why worm? Has anyone of you seen worms with eyebrows?) Not only that, he could see flashes of light from time to time. I think that affected his reading abilities and pulled down his grades in school. (Or maybe it just annoyed his teacher that he kept on blinking in class.)

Well, the celebration now is not as exciting. No more uncles or cousins or macho firecracker cookers. It was just the three of us plus our helper, Tina, who dreaded having to go to the middle of the street to light up fountains. (Yes, fountains. The most harmless of them all.) She would run and scream going back to the house after lighting one. And it was like that for 12 times or so. After her 9th try, I attempted to help her out by carrying the firecrackers. 3 of them left. One had the label, "Long Life," the other one, "Happiness," and the third one, "Love."

I'm not Chinese and I don't believe that these things bring what their cheap packaging promised but I handed them over to our official lighter-upper anyway. She ran screaming back to our house again. I had my picture taken as the the fountain danced and popped with many different colors. Who doesn't want Long Life, Happiness and Love anyway?

Stroke of Genius

#54: Undo, undo, undo!

Genius. Just Genius. I'm about to have a massive stroke now. I just erased more than 3GB worth of brand artworks that I've accumulated over the 2.3 years I handled Clearasil. By accident. Somebody shoot me now!

I was clearing out the junk from my laptop in preparation for its turnover to my boss at Boots. I don't really know what happened. One minute, I had everything in place for her - all the documents, plans, and artworks... The next minute, I'm getting goose pimples at the realization that I clicked one too many "Yes's" and succeeded in permanently deleting what I carefully set aside throughout my 28-month stint here. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Where is UNDO when you really need it????